On their way to London for the Rugby League final, a group of northerners start telling each other stories, in the manner of Chaucer's pilgrims in The Canterbury Tales.
Nick the driver takes the long way around to Wembley with a stop off in Lincoln. He tells a tale of rekindled love for his former girlfriend and how he tried to set up her villainous husband 'Big' George Miller and is now on the run.
At a service station stop, Stan tells a tale of plain Arnold who wants to save the Old Market Hall but instead falls for Dorothy, the wife of business man Nigel St Knight. To win her love he must first play Rugby League for Great Britain.
The gang reach 'the Best Pub in England' and find the barman attempting suicide. Judy tells a tale of Charlie and Sam battling to take her on a date by playing pub games and singing rowdy songs and plenty of drink. Dave wins.
Late night, Dave tells a quiet tale about his former boss; Charlie Wheeler. Charlie wanted a cocktail bar built over an agreed number of weekends but every time the job looked finished the workers dragged it on until the revolution came.
The final stretch to Wembley and a tale from Joy. With five former husbands she was content but then she heard Steve 'The Heat' Saintly on Radio Batley and offers him her embroidery The boss doesn't want this talk on Radio Batley.
Stuck in a traffic jam near Wembley there is the chance of a final tale. A conman borrows a £1, for ten minutes, and gives it back interest of 100%. So what is the scam? Raffle Betting men and a guaranteed horse race winner.
Francis Matthews
Eric the Prologue
Colin Farrell
Nick the Driver
Bill Maynard
Stan the Fryer
Susan Littler
Judy the Judy
Paul Copley
Dave the Joiner
Gaye Brown
Alice the Wife of Batley
John Stratton
Smith the Man of Law
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